Thanks ladies, I talked to dh about changing his ring tone, which he is going to attempt to do. (he's not that handy with technology )

Peanutter, Thats a great way of thinking about the day. I do really hope that sprout stays well away from it but at this stage I would be so happy to meet sprout and start our new lives as a family of five Im sure I wouldnt even think about the date in the beginning. Im going to try and alter my thinking about the day just in case.

Nae, I havent made anything clear to her yet. I honestly have not spoken to her since she left. I have told my brother I want nothing more to do with her, but that was mainly to get him off my back. since boxing day, she has rang me once, which I didnt answer. Shes texted me a few times trying to make out it was all my fault, but shes not angry with me. I havent said anything or texted her anything because I just dont have the fight in me anymore. I cannot be bothered with any of it.
I definately dont want the girls to be used as pawns anything, yet this is where it gets confusing for me. Growing up, my relationship with relatives was governed by who she was and wasnt talking to. I swore to myself that when I was a parent I wouldnt take away my childrens right to have relationship with relatives on the basis of my relationships (does that make sense?) So in short I dont want to take away a relationship with a relative from them because of my problems, but then I dont want her in my life. Maybe the girls are too young to know about it, and will ask later in life. I just hope they dont have the hurt that I carry because of what I experienced growing up.

Christmas was the second time mum had met DD2, the first time was when we went up there for our niece's funeral when she was 6mths old. Its not like she makes an effort to visit or have a relationship with the girls anyhow.

Thanks ladies, you have given me lots to think about!